Gun Control Really Works

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota --- After Minneapolis Police initiated a gun turn-in program, city officials say they are struggling to keep up with the massive amount of guns being voluntarily turned over by gang members and other criminals.
"When I proposed this ballot initiative, I knew we'd rid the city of guns," said Chief William McManus. "I guess I wasn't prepared for the massive turnout by local gang members so eager to give us their guns. We're having to take away from resources in our Diversity Training initiative that passed in the last election in order to handle all of these guns."
Gang members were lined up for several blocks outside of a Minneapolis police station in order to turn over their guns. "It's the right thing to do, yo," said a gangbanger known as Fizzle. "Da peeps on the North Side said no to guns, so we got no choice but to hand over that shizat. Now I gots to go be an organic farmer or some shit like dat. It ain't right. I stole this .45 two years ago, and now I have to give it to the police. It just ain't right."
The gun ban is so effective that police are reporting gang members and violent criminals from as far away as Albertville lining up to turn over their illegal and stolen firearms. "I've never seen anything like it," said one officer. "We've been talking about turning over our own guns, because we won't even need them any more. This is exactly what we thought would happen, and it's just so amazing to see it actually coming to fruition."